Pleasant Hill Times


*Kirk & Kerry*
Time Out with Kirk
The King’s English By F. KIRK POWELL Editor & Publisher
I’ve never really learned how to speak a foreign language. I took Spanish in college, but it wasn’t my best subject. In fact, I just barely passed. But if I found it difficult to learn Spanish, think how hard it must be for someone who speaks another language to learn English. Let’s face it. English is a crazy language. An e-mail that showed up on my computer last week illustrates just how crazy it is. For example, there is no egg in eggplant and no ham in a hamburger. Likewise, you can’t find an apple or pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England and French fries didn’t originate in France. Sweetmeats are candies and sweetbreads are meat that isn’t even sweet. You sink slowly into quicksand, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. How come you recite at a play and you play at a recital or ship something by truck and send cargo by ship. If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Most of us have noses that run and feet that smell. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same and a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? Only in English can a house burn down as it burns up, you fill out a form by filling it in and your alarm clock goes off by going on. The human race is not a race at all. When the stars are out they’re visible, but when the lights are out they’re invisible. Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t beeth the plural of booth? We have one goose and two geese so why not one moose and two meese? Imagine how difficult for someone who speaks another language to figure out that a bandage is wound around a wound and that farmers produce produce. They were too close to the door to close it, the farmer taught his sow to sow and help with the planting and the doctor had to subject the subject to a series of tests. The insurance was invalid for the invalid, the dump was so full that it has to refuse any more refuse and there was a bass painted on the big bass drum. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert and since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. No wonder I never learned how to speak Spanish. Heck, I haven’t even mastered English yet.

Just My Opinion
Come support your local gals! By Kerry Warman Sports Editor
They did it again! Our Pleasant Hill Chicks won the District 14 title last Friday night. If you weren’t there, then you were definitely part of the minority. Kudos to the large contingent of fans who were at Oak Grove to watch the Chicks kick some tail feathers against the Grain Valley Eagles to win the district championship. Man, that was fun! Now we need even more fans to show up at Lee’s Summit High School tonight (Wednesday, March 3) when our Purple Pride gals play in the Sectional game, the Sweet 16 of competition in Missouri Class play, against a tough O’Hara Celtic squad. If you don’t know, by the by, our local lady cagers are 24-3 this year, probably the best record ever posted by a PHHS girls basketball team. I am unable to confirm this, so I will wait for the calls from those who played on a better team. Hopefully, the phone won’t ring and the e-mails will be dead. It matters not, though, because we need to be there for our Chicks. If you disagree, whine later. All I know is one simple thing—being the simple person I am—the more people who are at Lee’s Summit tonight will ensure that the Chicks will know that they are appreciated! See you tonight, right!?! • • • • • • • • • • The Royals are back! And I am pumped again for the new season. However, I am not going to make predictions, nor am I going to live with false hope. Basically, I am wishing that the boys in blue can improve on the 2009 season and give the fans hope that someday soon we will be cheering for a post-season team. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Let’s Go Royals, Let’s Go! • • • • • • • • • • If Jimmie Johnson is not on a quest for his fifth-straight NASCAR Spring cup title, I would sure hate to see him racing when he is looking to continue his streak! I know we are only three races into a very long season— but that season is getting shorter and shorter for every other driver out there. • • • • • • • • • • With the top three teams in the nation going down last weekend—Kansas, Kentucky and Purdue—it looks like Syracuse is now the top ranked team in the nation in the AP Poll and ESPN Coaches Poll. Kansas dropped to the second spot, while Kansas State moved up to number five. Happily, Missouri actually received some votes in the AP, but the Tigers will likely not crack the Top 25 unless they beat Iowa State and Kansas this week. Sadly, with the loss of Justin Safford to a knee injury, Mizzou is not the same team that had opponents every worried. Someone will step up, though, so start worrying!

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